what a twist

If life isn't a screenplay written by God, then Shakespeare might have just handed God a script when he met him in heavens.

The meanest words that you might not like to hear, might be the most truthful and most sincere words, phrased by someone who cares a lot but just do not know how to put it nicely across.

The most wonderful praises you hear, may then come from the meanest hearts, saying things you like only to get you to help them in their path.

Of course, it does not necessarily means that you have to says harsh things in order to be truthful or for the good of someone. The most bitter medicine often have the best effects. But that doesn't eant they have to be bitter to cure. Then again anything less bitter may not have the same effect.

What I'm trying to say is that...I am a fool.

I am sorry for b*tching about my beloved to a stranger for the words that she said to hurt me.
Yes they hurt like hell and yes I do not want to be like that but I love her and I should have know better then to b*tch about her.
For she is the one who will be the last to hurt me (literally) I guess.

But words hurts too, often more than sticks and stones.
They leave an impact that no scars can leave.They transform people, lives, the way people talk, communicate and  love..

I guess I thought too highly of someone...to make him feel like part of my family.
Because now he feels as overwhelmed as I felt when she pelted those means words at me like ice shards.
I'm deeply sorry to him.

TO him:

I'm sorry I expected so much of you when I deserved none.
I'm sorry that my words hurt you so badly.
I wanted to change. But... It takes two to change.

I just feel... that our relationship is so strained... we can barely feel it.
Like we are just going through the motions. Doing what we are "supposed" to do.
I said I wanted flowers. was it so hard to get? One rose wouldnt kill.
And for our anniversary, was it so important to go 50/50 for every single thing?
And for my injection, was your sleep/friend/whatever excuse so much more impt than me?
Anything, I say, ANYTHING would have been more important than me at that moment BECAUSE you have already made up your mind NOT to go.
why are we faking it .
Why are you faking it.
I had really mean it when I say take a break.
Why did you vow to change again and again?
But never. New situations, same old tricks.
Just admit it. You don't love me. and that doesn't even matter to me anymore. I just want you to admit it. Or maybe that is even not necessary.

I don't want love from you and none of that shit.
I just want a peace of mind.


Turns out my mum's high pitched anguish holler was a blessing in disguise of sending me to work tmr.
And his sweet "I love you baby" "Good night sweethearts" were rotten with plague. Empty.

12:15 AM ·